Insomnia

I can't sleep. It's been a while since I've been able to sleep. I'm so busy during the day you'd figure I'd be too tired to be able to stay up as late as I do or wake up as early as as I tend to. I can't seem to slow down though. I feel like time is slipping through my hands as quickly as water would. My mind is constantly racing, thinking, simply worrying too much. It's starting to affect my social life. It seems that when I'm with friends I can't really focus on them I'm thinking about work or money or family. My grandma is dying of cancer, that's the second grandparent I may lose to it. It worries me because it's hard to see how skinny and worn out such a strong woman and role model has become. It just makes me realize how fragile and vulnerable I am.

"What makes you think you'd have it your way?" -Hinder


At least work is good. I got another promotion, which means more money and more learning opportunities. It's more stressful though, more responsibility and more paperwork.

"'Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of" -Rascal Flatts

I can't believe I've almost got Sasha's debt paid off. I'm seriously counting down the days until I leave and start feeling that I'm really out on my own. But for now I'm counting down the days 'til new years. I plan on going to New york, Florida as my back up plan, I want to see the city on New years and maybe even get a pair of Manolo Blahniks that would be amazing.


"Put me in water 'cause this boy's fire has got a hold of me" -Santana feat. Jennifer Lopez

And of course what's one of my blogs without talking about men. I definitely erased Jude's message it was just a mistake waiting to happen. There is something bothering me though. A guy with a girlfriend has been texting me and asking to hang out. I won't of course but I'm annoyed at the fact that some guys are so disloyal. Why do we cheat? Doesn't it make more sense to break up with a person if you no longer want to be with them? And if you truly care about them wouldn't you spare their feelings and stop yourself knowing that when they find out they would be hurt. I've made my share of mistakes and continue to make them but I feel as though I'm learning from them. I wonder if guys like him ever stop to reflect on their past and see that what they do is wrong.

"A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain, it's all in the game of love." -Santana feat. Michelle Branch