The Unknown

I saw Duke last night and what happened? I kissed him. After listing a million and one reasons for why we shouldn't see each other again, I kissed him. After spending about half an hour in a car having a conversation that lead no where I pulled him close and ever so gently kissed him. This was after he ran his hands through my hair and sent vibrations coursing through my body. I do not want to do what I am doing. I can not allow myself to develop feelings for someone I can never be with. Someone I have to lie to my family and friends about. Someone that can not be there for me when I want him to. This is the hardest thing I have done yet involving a man. I wish I could just say no to him but I tried today and proved to myself he has got me wrapped around his finger. I never thought I would ever admit to that but I am at his demand. The worst part is he can not be there when I want him to. I need to distance myself from him somehow. I am not sure what is going to happen and to be honest I am scared.

This little one is the only man allowed to have me wrapped around his finger...I need to be able to say no to Duke.